In The Loneliness of my Nightmares

In the loneliness of my nightmares

I see a beautiful woman crying

a lost kid dying

an unknown person hiding

and I'm always running away

don't know from who

don't know from what

it's not a monster

I'm way past that

I'm not sure if it is a man

I just know there is a way out

and while I'm running away

I'm looking for the person who has the answer

I always fall

and whatever it is it's going to catch me

I start screaming

crying with this agony

my ankle hurts

I'm wearing a white dress that got dirty when I fell

I'm barefoot and scared

it's comming for me

I scream and then wake up

Neck is sweaty, covers are twisted, tears in my eyes daring to fall, the night is silent and I feel scared.

In the loneliness of my nightmares I can't seem to run to you! cuz you are never there.. :[

love...always...

hope!♥

I Miss You (cliche I know)

ok so apparently I'm not that good as a writer [thank you Luis I appreciate it] so I'm just gonna write and hope it doesn't come out teen and stupid [again thank you Luis]

well if I could just talk to him maybe I would understand, I mean I thought we were like friends or something but the more I think about it the more I seem to think that even though I considered him my friend he probably didn't consider me his.

I do miss him, no matter how much I wish I didn't. I don't think I've ever told anyone what I told him.

I guess he is just one of those people you loose even though you didn't want to, I guess it's just one more punch life will throw.

If I ever see him again I'll stand there and say "I missed you" then I would walk away probably hidding the tears...

I miss you I really do, I just don't know how to deal with this world without you... damn..

love...always

hope!♥

wish you weren't always on my mind
wish I could stop writing about you
wish every song wouldn't remind me of you

wish you could see me wanting you just the way you want her
wish you could see us in a near future
wish you could understand you are my light

if you cry I cry
I you die I'll cry you back to life
if you smile I couldn't be happier
if you shine I'll steal a star and shine for you

wish she would love you just to see you happy
wish she could see how fascinating you are
wish she would notice the way your eyes light up when she is around

wish you could love me
we could be this beautiful, new born miracle
wish to you I wasn't invisible..!

love....always....
hope!♥

ughh... I have never had a day like this one... I wish I could just rewind & change everything that went wrong I think that when life sucks you need to grow up and get over it.
I guess I'm going to grow up:
->he won't fall inlove with me (acceptance)
->some friends don't ALWAYS know when is your breaking point (acceptance)
->it's never gonna be enough (acceptance)

I want to make history, I hope one day I will... but for now I'm just gonna try and wrap my head around this 3 things and then I'm going to think about the rest of my life. I'll just take it step by step and one day at a time.....

I just wish he wasn't so beautiful...
I just wish she ALWAYS knew....
I just wish it was enough....

love always....!
hope♥!

rain=beautiful

today it was raining.. wow it was amazing! I was outside and I don't think I've ever felt this way it actually felt like the rain was washing it all away I didn't care that faceless boy liked Ally anymore I didn't care that the jerk was coming back, it was me, the rain and those beautiful moments in my life...! I♥ everyone who was there when it was raining they made my day.. The rain turned the worst day of my life into something incredibly beautiful, my tears were mixing with the raidrops and they where a miz of joy and sadness.... beautiful..♥ today just took my breath away...
love always...
hope♥

this ain't the best years of my life

so second year of high school.

You walk in your class, damn your best friend Danii ain't in your class.

Joselyn and Genesis are there though so it's all good. Three months later you sit in class behind a brunnete named Sofi ( most amazing person ever), on one of your sides you have Joe (he has a way of making you laugh even when tears are rolling down your cheeks) on your other side there is Luis (interesting, confusing, head-hurts, weird creepy person) two sits away there is Genesis (innocent, sweet and beautiful, everyone likes her and you love her like a sister that got lost somewhere) right beside her there is Joselyn (used to be the greatest friend in the world, you lost her at some point, you are trying to fix that friendship). After that well, you are an outcast, you feel lost most of the time and the world it's just not right.

But if you see it from the outside it's really not that bad, I know you are different. But in the real world its not a curse it means you have something to hold on to, I know in high school it just sets you apart but, so what? Those kids won't take a day in the real world but you will cuz there is something right there that makes you special.

There are people that say "enjoy high school cuz those are the best moments of your life" I think that's not true, I think the best moments of my life are yet to come.

No I don't mean my wedding day or graduation, I mean pure out of nowhere moments like:

-> a kiss in the puring rain

-> sitting at the beach, watching the waves crash the shore

-> staring at the stars

->sitting on my window, writing, making art

-> waking up after a beautiful dream in the middle of the night and look outside, stare at the stars, with an open heart

->trying to heal your best friend's broken heart

moments that are real, that are pure, as pure as a kid's laughter, moments you wanna keep in a box save them for a starless night or when the night is cold.

Don't make high school everything, because if high school is everything what the hell do I have left?

love...always...hope♥

Beautiful Eyes

we where standing in an empty hallway

you looked at me and inside I knew

I could have melted right then and there

you stared at me with those amazing eyes

oh oh boy you've got me hipnotized

->cuz I don't care if you break my heart

I don't care if you tear me apart

I just want to stare at your beautiful eyes

I don't care if it hurts inside

I don't care if you make me cry

just look at me with your beautiful eyes

oh oh beautiful eyes<-

you out those eyes on me

run your fingers through your hair and swear

you'll never fall in love again

oh oh my I hope you are wrong

and we just stood there

with nothing to say

your eyes tell more stories

than I have ever heard

->cuz I don't care if you break my heart

I don't care if you tear me apart

I just want to stare at your beautiful eyes

I don't care if it hurts inside

I don't care if you make me cry

just look at me with your beautiful eyes

oh oh beautiful eyes<-

I love the way you smile

I love your hands and your arms around me

I wanna find your heart, wherever it is,

I wanna melt it now, tear down the ice

I wanna hold you thight, never let you go

lead me up the staircase

whisper soft and slow

go on tell me lies with your beautiful eyes

->so I don't care if you break my heart

I don't care if you tear me apart

I just want to stare at your beautiful eyes

I don't care if it hurts inside

I don't care if you make me cry

just look at me with your beautiful eyes

oh oh beautiful eyes<-

oh nameless boy you got me under your spell, you mean the world to me, I just want to scream to you "yes it's you I'm talking about damn it!!!!" ughh can't you see that you mean everything!!

"love..always...hope"